National security officials are used to shaking off absurd conspiracy theories, but the latest rumor that’s gripped MAGA world just hits different.
The claims by Fox News and far-right influencers that pop star Taylor Swift is part of a Pentagon “psychological operation” to get President Joe Biden reelected, and somehow rig the Super Bowl to benefit Kansas City Chiefs tight end (and Swift’s boyfriend) Travis Kelce, has been met with forehead slaps in the national security world.
“The absurdity of it all boggles the mind,” said one senior administration official, granted anonymity because they were not authorized to comment publicly on the matter. “It feels like one of those ‘tell me you are a MAGA conspiracy theorist, without telling me you are a MAGA conspiracy theorist’ memes.”
MAGA crowd, what you have just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
That Billy Madison quote applies well here.
It should be set to music and become anthemic for them (or us i guess 🤣)
If we’re being super loose with it (and “we” are) you could literally use the opening theme for Billy Madison and it could sort of work out lol
How amazing would it be if they could get Biden or Dems in one chamber to say this to their repub terrorists?
That Billy Madison quote applies well to pretty much anything conservatives say.
One might even say,
You could’ve just said incorrect…
These people just can’t handle anything, just anything, not being exactly as they like it, and if it isn’t, it has to be some sort of conspiracy.
That’s my dad. Trump is a god to him, and anything negative said about him is a liberal plot to stop him from his patriotic duty. The cognitive dissonance that man shows is baffling!
My stepfather is like that. I even tried to use his own logic to help him see most of these conspiracies are dumb; “you said yourself that the gov’t is incompetent. So how can they pull off a conspiracy at this scale if they can’t run the country?” - stuff like that.
It doesn’t matter, he’s fully drank the Kool-Aid, so I just keep him at arm’s distance now.
Rules of fascism
#3: “Action being beautiful in itself, it must be taken before, or without, any previous reflection. Thinking is a form of emasculation.”
#4: Disagreement is treason.
#8: The enemy is both strong and weak.
Thank goodness my Dad never went down that path, but honestly if he did I might just punch him straight in the face.
Violence is bad and you should rethink your attitude towards people on the Kool-Aid. Anyway go ahead and explain me the paradox of intolerance like I haven’t seen it a thousand times, I don’t care.
I need to advise you sir that your half-arsed attempt at virtuous shaming has utterly failed. Please return to your seat
“Violence is bad” is pretty basic stuff mate
Childishly so.
That’s so sad
Yeah. We no longer talk. I had to block him from calling/emailing me.
I had to block my dad’s emails for awhile. I just couldn’t believe they just kept coming and coming. And while trying to be a good son and available should he need me, I just had to risk going no contact for awhile. Now I basically gray rock everything. 🫤
Gray rock?
“Gray rocking, or the grey rock method, is a tactic people may use to deal with abusive or manipulative behavior. It involves becoming as uninteresting and unengaged as possible so that the other person loses interest.
Some people anecdotally report that it reduces conflict and abuse.”
Guys the best quarterback in the league made it to the superbowl again, it’s a conspiracy against us. No other way to explain this.
Also some of them say, “the 49ers need to win to save the country”…but like the big conspiracy is that Taylor is supposed to make a half-time endorsement of Joe Biden… So like, how would either team eventually winning the game have any impact on the half-time show?
And now that there’s a denial, from a “senior administration official,” it’s proof-positive of a vast conspiracy. “Why would they deny something that’s not real?”
xD
Why would they deny something that’s not real, indeed.
God damn.
At this point it almost seems like more than that. It’s like they need to manufacture some outrage to keep everyone angry about something.
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Remember, a lot of young conservative men were convinced Taylor Swift was a white nationalist who posted with them on 4chan.
When she started telling people to go vote (she didnt even say for a specific party, but just telling people to vote is enough to convince them you’re a democrat) they took that as Taylor Swift betraying them.
So much of what conservatives engage with is completely made up and exists only inside their own heads.
These are some of the same rocket surgeons that believe(d) that Hillary was using a pizza parlor with no basement to run an international pedo ring out of the basement of the pizza parlor.
Not really known for their application of reason and logic.
I mean, those same young conservative men are convinced that Taylor Swift and Lorde both have nudes posted on 4chan, because of the “tits or gtfo” rule.
Note that the speculation has existed since Swift and Lorde were both like 16.
High voter turnout typically means Democrat victory, as the only people who make sure to vote EVERY election is the paranoid “Keepin’ up with the Jonesses” suburban America types
This feels like one of those things /b/ started as a joke, and a few echo chambers took it seriously, and the media assumed or “assumed” it was far more widespread than it was. At least, I hope so
At work I have a regular that comes into the office and she spouts conspiracies like these and started talking about Taylor Swift vaccines and the deep state in the last week or so, so there are definitely a few true believers.
Taylot Swift vaccines
These will never work. She’s just too infectious.
You just gotta shake it off. (Yes, I hate myself)
That pun. I knew you were trouble when you walked in.
Oh no doubt, no matter how insane sounding there will be believers. It’s almost always related to undiagnosed or unmedicated mental disorders with delusions as a symptom. It’s really sad that we don’t prioritize mental health more in this country.
This woman is like 75 years old, lives in a van from '89, gets healthcare from her father being in the military or something based on what she says. She definitely has undiagnosed schizophrenia based on the way she acts and the bits of past she gives out. I feel bad for her, but she comes in, destroys our bathrooms to take a shower, then when she gets barred from using our restrooms, gets upset claiming she has no memory of causing the mess and tells us she will have to inform her doctors if that’s the case. It seems all the more tragic that she lives this way but has access to the things that could help her, but chooses not to. She says she lives in the van to save money, but she has a full retirement account. There’s a military base with her father’s name on it.
Everyday, someone new is out to get her. Government, vaccines, Democrats, CNN, George Soros. The right has effectively weaponized mental illness on a national scale.
Damn Taylor. TIL
The entire alt right movement was exactly that. It was a joke on b that did this.
Like I used to think that enders game was stupid when it came to the weird internet forum starting a movement and influencing politics but that has literally happened in real life lol
Except that in Ender’s Game they used weird internet forums to actually improve public discourse and awareness.
Reality turns out to be much dumber than fiction sometimes. I’d say often but there’s a lot of porn.
Sure but what’s your point? I’m saying it was weird to me that the author thought that was realistic or possible. And it happened in real life, proving that it was possible lol
Oh, I read Enders Game in high school and took the opposite view from you. I believed that the Internet would raise public discourse by elevating intelligence and empathy over our baser instincts. Then we all, including me, proved that wrong.
Optimist, I guess. Not sure what to do with that side of me now.
Right? I remember when the_Donald started on reddit, I thought it was hilarious and just people making fun of Trump and behaving like over the top cultists. And in the beginning it obviously was only just a joke. And then it got real and people really thought what was written there was the truth. People for banned and an echo chamber formed.
Was it the same on /b/? Did anyone experience the same as me back then? I really wanna know if all of this came from dumb internet humour…
I know people used to post the updates for Q on there. That’s why its called Qanon. Because the were from 4chan and the posts were anonymous.
You took the words right out of my neurolink embedded keyboard…
This really is one of the most amusing panics they’ve had in recent years.
Until someone shoots up a concert again
Well sure if you want to take morbid reality into account. Yet they wonder why people call for gun laws when nutcases pull things like that.
“They are trying to take away our right to shoot up a concert!” -Q cultists probably
There have always been sports fans who think that when their team loses, it’s because the ref is on the take. Now you have legalized sports gambling everywhere, with non-stop ads, and official NFL partnerships. Combine that with dozens of hyper slo-mo cameras covering every angle when a ref misses a call, and the conspiracy that the NFL is rigged has become more common the last two years.
Without getting into how absolutely stupid that is, it’s only a few more leaps in logic to get to where they seem to be: they keep showing Swift during games, because her fans tune in to see her, ergo, they’ll want her to be on screen during the biggest have of the year! The NFL wants the Chiefs to go to the super bowl. (I bartend, and I’ve had non-maga people saying this to me.) Add in the paranoia that comes with facism, and boom, a new MAGA grand conspiracy is born.
There have always been sports fans who think that when their team loses, it’s because the ref is on the take.
It doesn’t help that this has actually happened though like with the NBA in the late 90s/early aughts.
Listen, I’m a lifelong football player, coach and fan. If you’re trying to tell me the game isn’t rigged for the Chiefs to be in the Superbowl I’m telling you you’re the conspiracy Nutter!
Signed Your biggest Baltimore Ravens fan.
Woof. I felt so bad for Flowers on 1/28. They kept zooming in on him when he was rattled and you could see how bad it was getting to him.
He made rookie mistakes after not playing like a rookie all season. The offense shit the bed the second half, wasn’t just one guy Flowers doesn’t deserve as much hate as he’s getting. Deserves a good share though.
There actually is a confirmed government plot to keep the Bills from winning the Super Bowl, though. It was confirmed in that documentary from the 90s, “The X-Files”.
Oh fuck watching that FG go wide right the other week gave me flash backs to nam.
I feel like this is how a lot of stuff starts these days. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was a “psy op” (possibly created by actual children).
Trump’s massive inferiority complex and narcissism is also driving it
“They add that she’s not, in fact, part of a psychological operation to sway voters to Joe Biden.”
MAGA - “Yeah, but that’s just what they WOULD SAY! THIS PROVES IT!!!”
This is completely sarcastic but it’s so, so, SO dumb that this is in fact the sentiments of the ppl on the new the_donald website. Smh
The Qtards should be treated like Al Qaeda or ISIL operating in the United States. All their communications should be monitored. They should be infiltrated and any time one of them make threats or start making plans to do anything illegal, as many as possible are arrested, locked up and embroiled in the justice system as much as possible - prison time, time in court, etc.
There are more incidents of them killing innocents over dumb conspiracies. Like that son and his dad being beheaded.
?
Some of them very likely are foreign intelligence operatives attempting to influence locally.
Or just declare them as the Clear And Present Danger that they are and treat them exactly how union labor was treated by the military and East Indian Fruit Company
Just count any retweet, thumbs up etc to the threats and you’ll round up thousands at a time I bet.
The FBI doesn’t have jurisdiction in Russia tho
Why not just give them the Al Qaeda or ISIL treatment and send a drone to blow up their house?
Some would say “what about innocent bystanders in the house?” but the chances of others in the household not being exactly the same are miniscule
I love that the Pentagon is referring to dank memes.
Reality really is stranger than fiction.
I’d bet the Pentagon has a huge presence on all fringe forums and memeboards.
Just think of all the tax dollars wasted paying law enforcement to surf 4chan… It’s funny because you know that’s a real job…
I don’t think it’s a waste of money. There’s plenty of pedophiles sharing CSAM on 4chan and probably a terrorist or two as well.
Yeah, at least 4chan pretends to moderate posts these days. Back when it first started, it was the fucking Wild West of the internet. You’d be scrolling, and see naked 13 year olds getting pounded by sweaty old dudes with their faces blacked out, right below terrorist beheading videos and memes about triforcing. It was like if LimeWire had a stream of consciousness.
Loved those triforce threads man.
I mean, people who grew up on the internet can get up in high-ranking positions too, especially as we all get older.
America wtf
Fuck if I know dude. I thought we had hit a low with bush. Then we went and elected a black man and holy ever living fuck did that break right-wing people. Just absolutely broke their fragile little minds and here we are.
You guys need to elect a black man with a heavy inner-city accent who enacts serious change so you can break them all the way once and for all.
Or a black woman!
Fuck, if only! Or a gay black man who does drag as a hobby.
If they can negotiate on foreign policy and domestic policy, then they can work it.
He smokes cannabis daily as he pardons himself with every puff.
Ru Paul would be a terrible president.
Disagree! Caffeine enema days could mean leaps and bounds in policy foreign and domestic!
Also a furry
I was about to make a joke about President Camacho but then, I remembered, that fucker, that HORRIBLE PARODY OF A PRESIDENT, is so much better then what we got with Trump. Camacho saw some serious shit was going on and said ‘holy fuck lets let the smart guy fix this.’
He recognized and openly admitted to his own shortcomings.
Camacho/Not Sure 2024!
He gets my vote just for that bitchin trike
So glad I’m not American. I can view all this like a reality TV show.
Yeah but… ummm…you’re on the OTHER end of all our guns. No one is safe from our craziness.
Britain is effectively the 51st state so we’re always behind your guns. :p
As a half Brit half American, Britain really hasn’t been really pulling many Ws recently either
Do you drink tea or throw it in your nearest harbour?
Say “colour”…
It’s paradoxical, I throw the tea and it just spins in place in mid air
Also it’s obviously spelled C̴͉͎̘̱͙̙̣̱̜̲̖̎̂̋̔ȍ̶̻͕̬̞̰̫̙̩̯̤̳́͊̒̚͜ͅl̷̨̹̺̳͔͉͇͎̻̐̐͌̽̾̀̉͐̈́̆͗̎̚̕œ̸̢͉̜̽͛̅̚ư̸̪͍̂͐̀̀̍r̶͈̮̲͉̀̓̏̋̈́͑̌̔̽͊́͘͝͠
Doesn’t stop me being able to laugh at America. If you’re half British you should know one of our defining traits is self-deprecation. Britains Ls are eternal and everlasting and I will laugh at them all. But Americas - oh fuck yeah. They gimme a hearty laugh too!
How does someone be half American? Where do you pledge your allegiance?
I pledge my allegience to queen Frang and her mighty state of Hysteria
From which of the countries of great Britain ? 🧐
Until it reaches you in the form of a global economy collapse.
Of course, China could be the savior, but would that really be a win?
Why would I care about Chinese hegemony? Sinophobia is more of a Yank fear. I really couldn’t give a shit.
You should. We all need an at least semi-democratic country at the top. We need the non-democratic authoritarian kind of governance to be seen to fail. Again. If American fail, we need Europe to start punching it’s weight even more. And unfortunately the crazy right (no doubt helped by enemies of freedom) is on the rise across Europe. Least in Britain, it looks like the nightmare might be over this election. It will take years to undo the economic and social damage they have done though.
Edit: English
enemies of freedom
Oh dear. :/
Fine, I’ll be explicit. Russia, China, etc. The authoritarian powers. They do want success democratic countries as it gives their citizens ideas.
I honestly envy you.
Except if the Cheeto Benito starts some shit somewhere in the world due to his excellent diplomatic skills god forbid he gets elected again, pretty sure we are all in the shitter.
until we drag the whole western world into a real fucking shit show. lets not forget how close tony blair and george w bush were when it came to handling iraq
Yeah, except most reality TV is 99% made-up bullshit that just impacts nothing outside the “participants” and water cooler gossip.
Except Love on the Spectrum. Thats just wholesome AF.
40 years of crippled public education and a media landscape owned by the wealthy elites that use it to push anything to distract us from the fact that our greatest enemy are billionaires.
Are you even surprised by us anymore
When we look back on this era what are we going to say drove them to this? Like, we explain the Salem witch trials by saying that there was ergot in the water which likely had them hallucinating.
What is it now? Is TikTok this much of a problem? Is there ergot in the water? What the hell is happening…
Maybe lead and micro-plastics? But that’s just a guess.
Lead in the water, micro plastics in the food, Reagan in the air.
Plausible. It seems apparent that this is something that’s been introduced into basically all humans water supply in the last 50 years. I’m sure it’s been getting worse and worse as time has gone on, and it could be that we are at a critical mass where it is starting to affect behaviors en masse.
Yeah “deliberately making ourselves too stupid to survive” sounds about right for some shit we’d pull off.
Ive stared into the abyss. Ive studied history to try and understand this. Recently Ive studied cults and sought out reformed maga heads (know your enemy) to try and understand this lunacy. What Ive learned? The deeper you go the less it makes sense. Shit gets completely surreal in a heartbeat. Trying to apply logic to something specifically illogical will drive you insane. There is nothing to be understood here beyond pure animal rage and toddler level emotions. Theyve discarded all reality and subsist wholly on toddler level emotions and instincts in the moment.
What to do? Look inward I guess? Covid wrung out the last bit of faith I had left in humanity. I mean this cult literally overrode their very survival instinct. I didnt think that was possible. They killed themselves by the hundreds of thousands to impress the in-group, to own the libs, to prove devotion and fealty to…Donald fucking trump!!! This cant be real, right? If this was a movie script people would walk out because it was so unbelievable.
Careful staring too long into the abyss for the abyss stares back into you
I mean, bro, we had fucking witch trials.
Witch trials.
We actually believed in witches and we burned people at the stake.
This is not the most lunacy humanity has ever seen. Not by a long shot. It’s just the most lunacy that we’ve seen with modern tools to help suss that lunacy out.
There is certainly an explanation for what’s going on. We just haven’t identified it.
We actually believed in witches and we burned people at the stake.
Only a matter of time before the cult starts talking about publicly executing LGBTQ+ people and women who have had abortions or miscarriages. Possibly by burning them at the stake.
Or federal employees…they’re also called the deep state.
Where’d I hear that in the news recently?
A deranged MAGA cultist recently CUT OFF HIS DAD’S HEAD and posted about it online because of the dad apparently being a federal employee 😬
I’d find you a link to an article about it but frankly I dread what other search results I’d get for THOSE keywords!
I do not disagree. But we are not there yet, it has been crazier before. It does appear that we are on track, that’s why I’m so concerned and curious as to what the fuck is causing this shit, but we’re not there yet. Probably because of those modern tools that we have, I feel like if whatever is going on right now is going on in the 1700s we would be done for.
They joined the war on disease on the side of the disease. There’s nothing else to say, at that point. They are bereft of joy, logic, life, survival instinct, humanity, anything good you name it.
Is staring into the abyss similar to staring at an eclipse? Are these things related?
"He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you. "
Basically : tread carefully on your crusade lest you become the thing you hate
It’s a Nietzsche reference
Nah, I’d say it has broad appeal.
🤣🥰
Nietzsche has some broad appeal, well, amongst those that read philosophy. You can’t get past the post-modernists without summiting that intellectual mountain. I suppose existentialism is somewhat Niche-ey…but what do I know, I read Zarathustra at 16. Ymmv
it’s a pun, son
Possibly how all the different crises like inequality, climate, capitalism, pollution all converged. People sought quick solutions and some leaders gave them solutions that were ready, quick and wrong. Blaming others went to cult like heights. Until it all collapsed.
All of these things contribute to it, yes, but I do think that there is a level of absurdity to what we are witnessing that is not adequately explained simply by coercion. Perhaps I’m wrong.
Humans do whacky shit on a regular basis, certainly if they don’t really understand what’s going on. Cargo cults come to mind.
we explain the Salem witch trials by saying that there was ergot in the water which likely had them hallucinating
Witch trials were ways for powerful people to get rid of those who challenged the established system. These conspiracies are the same as they’ve always been.
Fox News leaders aren’t pushing these stories because they’re high. It’s because they’re billionaires who don’t want to lose their power and control. Just like in the time of witch trials, these powerful people are spreading fear, doubt, and confusion in order to distract the masses from giving too much attention to meddling people making troublesome arguments against the current system.
Tiktok? If you find someone who isn’t a swifty on Tiktok, they probably won’t survive long.
This nonsense comes from Fox and truth social.
Didn’t Andrew Tate rise on TikTok?
I think he was YouTube. Tiktok is very short form content.
That said, the only time I’ve ever seen that guy’s face is in a mugshot, so I could be wrong.
shaking off
Heh
Imagine how they were rolling around the newsroom off of that zinger
I’ve worked in the newsroom. And yeah, they do love a pun more than is healthy…
They didn’t even make it to the end of the headline before including one.
I am surrounded by dipshits in this country…
I’ve always known maga people are dumber than shit, but now they’re just running the world’s worst D&D session online and on Fox.
This looks like a job for a gazebo.
I’m gripped by a strong urge to start anonymously sending some Taylor Swift / KC Chiefs merchandise to family members and acquaintances who have been guzzling the red-hat Flavor Aid for the last decade. It’s probably not the most productive use of time and money but this whole thing is just goddamn ridiculous.
There’s probably a Taylor Swift email notification service for upcoming concerts and such that you could sign them up for.
Free, and guaranteed to stir up the Trumpanzees in your life without putting a target on your own back.
Anonymous remailers exist, I’d just have to ship it to them in a package they could open and reseal before sending it on. There are some other rules involved as well, turns out there’s some risk of those being used for less than savory purposes.
Dark Brandon gives their supersolders the hardest battles.
Agencies has so many stories and gossips of coups, secret weapons and psychological experiments like MK-ULTRA, and they used Taylor telling people to vote as their psy-op?
Big scary government that can hear every your word and can even say them for you, can track and kill you at any time - uses a pop-star to make a point?
Who buys that bullshit? Is it, again, the weak but strong enemy? That’s a story even Onion wouldn’t publish.
Wait for it. Win or lose, once they realize how embarrassing this episode should be, it’ll become something that none of them actually believed and besides, it was all started by some lefty trying to make fun of them. The real conspiracy turns out to be (in hindsight with the benefit of selective memory and heavy retconning) a push to drive up merchandise sales. They’ll make a reference to globalists, lizard people and something about “controlling the media” without a specific J-word for plausible deniability.
You can’t say jewelery without a J-word, don’t you? They are stupid rich and are out to get you. Hide your kids, hide your wife, as they’d come to you to take them, and dance Hava Nagila over your cold dead body. Stupid leftists think I’m insane now, but who’d they ask to help, when jewish reptiloids would take their children and farm them for adenochrome? Not me, I’d shoot them on sight as any other trespasser. God bless America.
The tragedy of our age is that this could totally be posted in all seriousness.
We live in some form of post-reality where whatever our sci-fi visionaries said years ago as a precaution gets picked as an instruction to action. I hate that, and I’m happy someone picked it without a cowardly added s/.
I’m in my mid-40’s and i cannot recall a time when this wouldn’t have been the case.
And hide yo husband cuz they rapin’ everyone out here
This way they get to hate a beautiful woman who would never fuck them
I mean, if agencies theoretically wanted more dem votes, there are worse ways than getting a mega superstar to ask her fans for them. But if they were in the business of controlling US elections we probably wouldn’t have the entirety of the shitshow that is existence right now.
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That is quite the unfortunate typo.
Yay, at least someone noticed.
Are you thinking of the fairness doctrine? That only ever applied to broadcast TV, not cable TV like Fox News.
The reason for the distinction is that broadcast TV is over radio waves that anyone can receive with off the shelf equipment. The FCC has a lot of jurisdiction over that and can regulate what can be shown. Cable TV is relatively free of that oversight. Legally speaking, they could show hardcore porn at 5pm. They won’t because their advertisers would hate it, but they legally could.
Fox news classified themselves as entertainment so that law didn’t apply to them.
It would never have applied to them.
Removed, “24 hours Jews cycle”, really?
News cycle, NEWS cycle, not Jews cycle. It’s a typo and I’m rather amazed that nobody thought of this.
My auto correct keeps changing news to Jews now btw, no idea why. I am not anti-Semitic, I have nothing against Jews or Palestinians or Mexicans or Caucasians or African Americans for God’s sake. It’s just a random auto correct issue. I’ll try and fix it, can you undelete this?
If that were your only problematic comment, I’d ALMOST buy that excuse. But it’s not your only problematic comment.
