I’ll get the ball rolling:
Dead Man’s Shoe (2004)
Sounds like a tearjerking tale of a recently-bereaved man returning the shoe of a road accident victim he found in a bush to the victim’s late wife, through which they spark a deep friendship that goes beyond mere love. PG-13 5/10 Oscar-bait shite.
A crow on the orient express.
This is the best of the whole thread. 🏆
Edit: playing with this theme,
A Lion and Prejudice
edit: I had fun and got carried away, but here are a few of mine (+ descriptions and posters)
The Otter of the Medusa
First movie in the ‘Medusa’ trilogy. About an ancient order of sea otters called ‘Medusa’, that have saved the world from behind the scenes countless times over the centuries. Improved human technologies and destruction of habitats are causing cracks to form in the organization, and some are starting to question whether humans should be kept around at all. Based on a famous painting with the same name.
Posters for the rest of the trilogy:
Medusa’s Legacy: The second film in the trilogy covers the aftermath of first film and gives you a look at how deep the organization really goes.
The Medusa Chronicles: The story of how a group of young otters continues the legacy of “Medusa”. Themes of hope and whether a flawed institution can actually be improved. YA Fiction series also in the works.
Real Movie: The Raft of the Medusa (1994 - Period Film)
Le Radeau de la Méduse (English: The Raft of the Medusa) is a French film by Iranian film director Iradj Azimi. It is based on the 1816 wreck of the French frigate Méduse, and the 1819 painting Le Radeau de la Méduse by Jean-Louis André Théodore Géricault which depicts the event
Escape Whale
A whale escapes an enclosure, leading to a heartfelt tale about the whale and the conservation researcher that pursues her. Themes of isolation and ‘finding one’s purpose’.
Poster:
Real Movie: Escape Pod (2023 - Sci Fi)
After an explosion on their deep-space vessel, a young astronaut wakes up on an escape pod with no memory of how he got there. With limited knowledge, he must listen to the stories of those on board to piece together what really happened.
Randy and the Kangaroo
A comedy about a middle-aged man and a kangaroo, after it bounces into his apartment and almost ruins his life further.
Poster:
Real Movie: Randy and the Mob (2007 - Action Comedy)
A good ol’ boy (McKinnon) gets into trouble with some mobsters, and then must seek assistance from his estranged, identical twin gay brother.
The George Otter Story
Children’s movie based on the hit book series. Loosely inspired by Curious George, this Pixar movie tells the story of friendship and finding a place where you belong.
Real Film: The George Raft Story (1961 - Noir Crime Fiction)
Dancer George Raft (Ray Danton) finds himself involved with the criminal underworld. After a conflict with gangster boss Frank Donatella (Joe de Santis), he is exiled to Hollywoood, where he wins a role in the film “Scarface”
Oh. My. Gods.
I love your posters and would totally stream these films!
Holy shit! That was great! The posters are hilarious!
I love them, they took a few attempts but it was worth it
The Cove 2: Tailhook Season
this time the dolphins are drunk, horny, and aggressive. Come for the beautiful actresses in bikinis, stay for the puffer fish fueled orgy scene.
Insides Out. A Pixar horror film.
by Chuck Palahniuk
Jaw.
A very impressive but ultimately harmless piece of shark jawbone washes up on the beach of beautiful Amity Island, where it is later taken to the city hall to be displayed under glass. The summer tourist season continues on with little to no issue.
James Bond: Singlepussy.
James settles down and gets monogamous.
I did it for King and Cuntry
Screenplay - “Goldfinger” (1964)
---- SCENE
James Bond lies strapped to a table and looks on with increasing anxiety at the laser beam between his legs as it moves slowly towards him.
Bond: “Do you exshpect me to talk?”
Goldfinger: Scoffs “No, Mr. Bond! I expect you to ask Moneypenny out. She’s really into you!”
Bond: Relieved “Sure, I could do that.”
Goldfinger shuts off the laser.
Goldfinger: “Good.”
---- END SCENE
ROLL END CREDITS
🎶Goldfinger. He’s the man, the man with the matchmakers touch…"🎶
Lord of the Fly. One man’s battle with forgetting to do up his pant zipper.
Or it is a strange sequel to The Fly…
That’s not a conch!
I feel strangely triggered
penis
Gremlin (1984)
A 160 minute slog of an arthouse film presented in black and white with almost no dialogue, chronicling not much happening over the period of several days to the owner of a chronically cantankerous compact car, which he can’t get to start and thus can’t go anywhere. Unrated; for some inexplicable reason, also subtitled entirely in French.
Waiting for a Tow
Beautiful.
Snow White and the Dwarf
Alien
The exact same movie again, with no change whatsoever. 10/10
I’m on the edge of my seat! I just have to know if the next scene is identical too!
The Incredible - Instead of his whole family being super, it’s just him. He’s hidden his identity his whole life and is killed by Syndrome trying to reclaim his glory days because there’s no one to come help him.
Dead Poet Society - Just the sad story about the one guy who kills himself
One Samurai - Weeb who thinks he’s a Samurai tries to defend the innocent. Gets killed on his first attempt.
The Magnificent One (so many thing this could turn the movie into but I choose to believe it’ll end up about some religious figure)
Ghostbuster - Just Bill Murray being a quack scientist the whole time, or maybe Egon having a fruitless search for ghosts
One (previously Seven) - A documentary about some billionaire who thinks they’re special and the only one who can save the world.
Star War - Stops after the first movie. Wait, this may make it better.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle - It’s just the scientist on his quest to make the first turtle
The Musketeer - Given this movie exists and I doubt many people who watched it could even tell you what it was about, speaks for itself
Transformer - Documentary about the making of the first electrical transformer.
Tremor - becomes a movie about an earthquake that happens in Perfection. Destroys the few buildings in town and they are forced to rebuild or move.
X-man - Story of the last person in the X-men group, basically a rehash of Logan.
The Warrior - Yet another story about some special person in the distant past who’s a great fighter or saves his village from some bandits.
Overachiever
Helps that I’m sitting in front of my wall of movies.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle - It’s just the scientist on his quest to make the first turtle
I’d watch that documentary
deleted by creator
Snake on a plane.
It’s just one snake and Samuel L. Jackson stomps it to death in 2 min. The end.
“I have had it with this motherfucking snake on this motherfucking plane”
Don’t you mean Monday to Friday snake?
DoWnWaRd SpIrAl
Lotr: the two tower.
Something about a tower shaped like a two?
LOTR: the one tower
All the stuff about Isengard is cut. The movie is ruined.
Lord of the Ring
There is just one ring. The main story is basically the same.
Starring The Count from Sesame Street.
1 fast 1 furious
1 Angry Man
They actually made this movie, but called it Falling Down.
Great movie.
Am I the bad guy?
Decent 90s action schlock title.
A League of Her Own.
Just 90 minutes of Geena Davis playing baseball by herself. Tom Hanks bullies her the whole time.
- A Fistful of Dollar
- One Amigo
- One Idiot
- Gone in One Second
- 1 Going on 1 (13 Going on 30)
- 1 First Date
- 1 League Under The Sea
- 1: A Space Odyssey
- 1 Maniac
- The Bird
A Fistful of Dollar
The Man with no Name is not in this movie because one dollar was not worth his time.
