When future generations (of alien colonists on our dead world) update the story of Cassandra, the main character will be changed to Bernie

The beer belly putsch

Even if we do get a Brutus we’re still fucked, got it

I think that’s the answer. He’d eat the hamburger half.

No matter how many times he types hamberder2, it will show to us as **********

The tornado tourism industry is gonna be huge!

This stupid fuck of a senator needs to go back to where he came from (sorry Illinois, you can’t just dump your garbage in other states like that)

And why would the Democratic Party need new voters if there won’t be any more elections?

All that meticulous research and they get blindsided by “dude’s a couch fucker” 🤣

The trick with that test is that they’re not looking to see whether you can do it. They know you can’t. They’re looking to see whether you think you can. If you show signs of believing it’s possible, that’s probable cause for a search. If you believe you actually pulled it off, you’re drunk.

I actually just started learning C++ today.

If Lovecraft were alive today one of his stories would start with this line.

The ones he thinks Tim Walz replaced with tampon dispensers

“Lying about our prices on the menu keeps the prices on the menu lower!”

The Trump campaign is a conspiracy by Big Deep End to sell more deep end!

“If the shoreline fits”

He would know, he’s a genius himself!

So, after he flees to Argentina?

Walz is what I imagine my parents would be like if my parents had actually believed the moral lessons they taught me as a kid

I’ve never paid attention to the Olympics. What’s terrible about it this year?

What’s Elon?