After further ruminating on this thought:

Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you’re crazy for making us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us… In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a whore, and a scoundrel, and a rascal, a ne’er-do-well, and a villain… Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, the Guild of Calamitous Intent.