I used to work for a large corporation and one day I found myself in a meeting with a bunch of female vice presidents where I was the only man there. The presenter was unable to display on the big screen because she didn’t have a connector; I happened to have the right kind and loaned it to her.
She said “you’re pretty handy to have around.” My brain decided that a clever thing to say in response would be “well, I’m pretty well-endowed in the dongle department” and I started to say that before my brain thought better of it and cut me off. So what I actually said was “well, I’m pretty well-endowed”. One woman in the room actually guffawed but everybody else managed to ignore it - although I’m willing to bet this story was told later more than a few times.
I was talking to my dad about family drama a couple weeks ago, and instead of wording my sentence properly I made it seem like I called my cousin a cow. I immediately felt bad because even though she’s being a fucking idiot, I still like her.
That’s when you clarify that you like some cows. They can be sweet, dumb animals.
no worries, my brain will remind me every 45 seconds for the next 3 weeks
And keep going for the rest of your life, just at a lower frequency because there’s more screw-ups to keep getting reminded of.
It’s been over 20 years and there are two that haunt me to this day.
After that, you just start anticipating this feeling and unlock social anxiety.
Just like Fallout 4, I only ever select the sarcastic option.
It’s the missed quicktime events that gnaw at my soul.
