I miss the “bone apple tea” subreddit. That and “boot too big” were constant sources of slightly stronger nostril exhalations.

Escargot Robbie

Bwaahahhahahaaahahhaa!

One step at a time

First thing I thought of, as well. That scene gave me nightmares as a child.

I’m in my mid 30s, and I’ve been saying it ever since I learned it from an animated series based on the movie Jumanji.

barely held together by alcohol and a thin, icy, fragile exterior

I’m in this comment and I’m totally fine so stop asking.

Who’s going to play the cat?

Remy Malik, Ali Wong, or Kate McKinnon?

Wildcard option: Trevor Noah as Balthazar.

That’s very interesting and informative. Cheers!

At least Hitler cared about Germany, or something.

Holy cow, that’s a deeeeeeeep memory that just floated back up.

Wololo

Looks a bit like Dave Foley to me.

How do I shoot photons?

If it’s a wooden door that you’re screwing into, dab some match sticks with a little bit of liquid nails and gently hammer them into the stripped-out screw hole, and cut them flush with the hole. Once the glue dries, you can drive the screw back into the matches and it’ll have enough wood to bite into.

Excuse me while I stare at my big hairy (proud!) feet as I try to figure out whether or not you just insulted me.

Don’t be fatuous, Jeffrey.