Apple enters the chat

Yes, except the free part

I like it, but is it programmer humor?

Edit: typos

I’m unsure whether a drop-in replacement exists. I use Lawnchair. It doesn’t have the newsfeed when swiping left, but if you’re okay with changing your flow a bit it could be good (enough) for you. You could create something with widgets (or maybe plugins) that replicate what you currently have.

I’ll come clean and admit it took me too long to figure this one out.

Nice of you to take initiative like this. I’m still reeling from the shock of the lack of memes.