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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 12th, 2023

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  • Not officially diagnosed with ADD (on a waitlist though) but autistic, and I second that. I constantly feel like I’m too lazy and yet I got my current job through an internship. It was supposed to last three months and I got an of#er three weeks in, because they were so impressed with my willingness to perform.

    I was very bewildered. I still have to remind myself of that when I feel like I’m not getting shit done because my mind refuses to cooperate. What I can convince myself of by now is that those moments are the productivity normal for most people and that even when I’m like that my productivity is high enough - especially because that is usually the moment when I look into things that are not the absolute core of my job.

    I’m a test automation engineer, but people explicitly want me to not just automate, but also care for quality topics as a whole, so reading relevant blogs and security news and feeding that back into the team is part of my job.

    Still often feel guilty about that, but my boss repeatedly told me I’m absolutely overachieving and fulfilling the job more than he hoped for.

    For me, there’s two takeaways:

    1. you probably have higher standards for yourself that most people, and the moments where your brain cooperates you’re like a racecar compared to a truck, and
    2. find a niche that interests you is of utmost importance. I was once at an info event for SAP and they said that autistic people are intrinsically motivated and it’s almost impossible to get us motivated with things like more money. It’s definitely true for me, and for my few ADHD friends, though I’m not sure if that is in general true. Accepting this has allowed me to make peace with myself and to take a much healthier approach to jobs than before - “I can work any job, I don’t need my dream job” when I was desperate for a job was the most toxic thing I could do to myself.


  • That’s the official version, but at least when I talk about some average dude it’s way too long and artificial, I don’t think the name Mustermann actually exists.

    When I think of the most common name to use in casual conversation, I’d probably go for Müller (maybe Peter? Though the first name is probably heavily generation-dependent).

    In older publication you may alse find references to “der deutsche Michel” (the german Michel, short for Michael) as a somewhat condescending reference to the average citizen who is very hesitant to adopt new concepts and tech and not always able or willing to understand complex concepts. Often used to remark that a product/idea will not have a chance on the market because “der deutsche Michel” doesn’t see the pointor would never pick it up.

    Haven’t seen that in a while though, I guess Germans have become more open to new stuff :)


  • I’m not American, but I born and bred in the EU. Please don’t assume wildly :)

    I still view it as a value issue: you are looking out for your own good above contributing to society. If everyone does that, it will be utterly impossible for society to actually give back, because you’re depriving society of the taxes it needs to move.

    I’d rather contribute to society and the social security net we have. Any society will have people who are unable to work due to disability or sickness, and to me taking care of your weak links is a mark of civilization. We don’t have to leave disabled or injured members of society in the dust to die. We have the means to take care of them, and that’s what taxes are for.

    But we kind of lost track of the original question, why the wages are lower in the EU than in the US. In my opinion it’s because with all the social security and insurance it is not necessary and the environment - the society - is providing part of what you get in monetary form in the US.


  • I guess it’s a difference in values, which affects your perspective. You can see it as robbing, or as contributing to society.

    I’m trying to word it as neutral as possible, but it’s really hard in the values area. I think both sets of values are valid. I may not agree with yours, but that’s the thing with moral values - if you don’t share the same values, you will never see eye to eye or agree. Hard to be objective in such a situation.

    Tl,dr: you value different things, which is not evil or bad, but completely valid. It’s just that I personally with my values don’t agree and see it negatively.



  • Social security. Strong protection against lay-offs. University without paying upfront - just because you don’t care for it as someone who didn’t grow up here, doesn’t mean it’s not a benefit for the majority. Healthcare at affordable prices. Public transport.

    The thing is, you only see your own benefit. And I feel that’s a very typical way of looking at life in the US. The state is not here to rob you, but to provide you with a structure to live in that you couldn’t have in the same way on your own. Public transport may not be something you need, but what about the elderly? What about the people who can’t drive for whatever reason?

    What if you have an accident that renders you unable to work? It doesn’t even need to be your fault. Someone might loose control over their car and you might get hit. People like that need strong social nets, and people who can work finance them. Elderly people need those. They are often sick (high health care costs) and not longer able to drive (public transport) and if their pension is not enough, the social security kicks in and supports them.

    You personally may not be profiting from it right now, but there’s a ton of security built into the system for everyone that gets financed by everyone according to their means.


  • Isn’t the question rather “why do US companies do that” when they could get away with paying less?

    I can only speak for myself but I’m not keen on constantly job-hunting like I see so many US engineer advise. I’m looking for a more stable situation where the company seeks to hire long-term, and often in those cases you get benefits that are not monetary. Free access to partnered places like fitness studios or swimming pools can’t really be rolled into your salary, but if you use those often you end up with a financial benefit too. Automatical raises when your child is born is another.

    Maybe it’s just a different culture, but I’ll trade in some base salary for a work environment based on mutual trust and goodwill.



  • As someone with ASD, the difference it makes when you know your sensory issues and are able to get accommodation for it is insane.

    I just started a new job where I am open about it and my officemates love that I love the “dark” spot away from the windows. Now they don’t have to sit there. For me, the peace and quiet of that place means my stress level is so low for the first time in my life that I struggle to go to sleep at night.

    My “go to sleep” indicator has been mental stress, but my job allows my to hyperfocus, which is recharging my mental batteries. I’m left alone to do my thing unless there is a meeting that’s been announced way before or I reach out to others.

    When I get home from work, I may be physically tired, but mentally I could just go on, because the basic level of stress that was at like 70% all my life is so much lower now. Now I have to learn how to recognize when I physically need to sleep - and fight my brain on it, because it just wants to play…

    Long story short: my diagnosis for ASD changed my life, for the better. But there are many factors to consider (state of healthcare is a big one, accessibility of therapy, possible legal ramifications in your country, social acceptance, but alse how much it affects you).

    For me, ASD helped me make sense of what was happening and allowed me to pushback when others were calling me lazy. But what helped me was mostly therapy work, and if you have a good therapist, you can just work on those issues separately. Imho you can get the help you need for ASD without a diagnosis, but in my situation the diagnosis was a massive help.