Mamms effect was (unfortunately) never released

US and Germans (with some French celebrity prisoners) fight other Germans. My favorite part of this battle is when the French superstar Tennis player vaults a castle wall and runs through enemy lines to ask for reinforcements.

One time I couldn’t get a jar of jelly open so I smashed it. There are definitely better ways.

I always thought of Belgians as being swamp French. It’s the Dutch who are swamp Germans.

I’m a brass musician and an atheist so the only time I go to church is when I’m getting paid. The last time some Mormons approached me about going to church I asked them, “What’s the pay?”

They were genuinely confused.

I don’t think there are grizzlies and polar bears in Florida. Maybe in a zoo?

That’s the game!

I like to play a little game when the bus shows up: 5 minutes early or 10 minutes late?

Gotta wait a sec for Niko to put on his seat belt

I had to read E.M. twice because at first my brain translated it as Entitled Mother (which doesn’t seem too far off)

I’ll believe it when I see it

I’ve seen Jazz apples in stores around Southeastern Pennsylvania. They’re pretty good, but my favorite is Pazazz apples. They’re similar in size to Honeycrisp but sweeter with a bit of tartness to them.

I wasnt able to upgrade to fiber internet until about 2017

One of my friends keeps chickens in a small coop surrounded by chicken wire. A while back some raccoons killed most of his chickens by pulling pieces of them through the small holes in the wire fence. A few years after the incident I was visiting my friend. While we were hanging out in the backyard I stepped on a dessicated chicken wing…

I recently had to reinstall windows on a coworker’s laptop because it wouldn’t boot (hard drive is probably failing). I couldn’t even format the drive because bitlocker was bit locking and the only way to turn it off is through the control panel (again, PC would not boot). I ended up having to delete the entire partition so I could reformat and install.

His brain is buffering.

What’s Trump’s stance on Israel?

The thing that bothered me the most is how Aang sounds exactly like Dewey from Malcolm in the Middle

It’s what plants crave

The bar is low and the concerns are high