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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 18th, 2023

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  • My bootstraps broke when I pulled them harder.

    Turns out the local company that made bootstraps for 125 years was bought out by a hedge fund, which promptly fired all of the workers and subcontracted manufacturing to a company in Sri Lanka who could make them much cheaper by using inferior materials and by paying the Sri Lankan workers in 6 months what a fired local worker made in a day.

    Ironically, the hedge fund CEO with the MBA he received as a legacy admission to Cornell only wears slippers because fuck you, I’m the boss.










  • Which probably lifted it from the 1992 movie “Army of Darkness”, starring Bruce Campbell:

    Ash: Alright you primitive screw heads, listen up. You see this?

    This…is my boomstick! It’s a twelve-gauge double barrel Remington. S-Mart’s top of line. You can find this in the sporting goods department.

    That’s right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids,Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It’s got a walnut stock, cobalt steel barrel, and hair trigger. Shop smart, shop S-Mart.