“Imagine”

Not really, that stuff tastes like shit

Hey now, let’s not be totally hasty here

… yes Human, please find all the stop signs as well

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/im-comic-sans-asshole

Honestly better than any Kanye West song I’ve ever heard

Plot twist, both options are only paid by in their respective coins. And payment is automatic: it falls on your head from a small portal.

Pretty sure that oil is fairly cool as well, because the oil usually explodes out not just bubbles

I mean sure, if you want to give your friends 3rd degree burns. A single ice cube is gonna throw oil a few feet. Explosively.

source: worked at a KFC in high school with a dumb ass who put a coworker in the hospital by throwing some ice in the fryer

But I am the CIA, and I know where you live jeff

For those that need to hear this. Please don’t do this.

It’s ok to punch Nazis

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-sOSr7n_8YU

Not that accent

Yea, this crap is making it harder and harder to make jokes. It’s like someone installed a mod in the simulation that makes reality go bonkers.

Hence forth this will be known as “Billiams law”

Well yah, because the space laser didn’t work!

We switched off of Mayan for project scheduling after 2012 was a bust, no end of the world or anything, just some instability in the simulation… (man egg on my virtual face, I really blew that one)

… oh and they have a Milkshake machine??? How the hell do they rate?? We had to overthrow Guatemala just to get some decent coffee beans

Damnit! We aren’t starting that project till quarter 4!

What??? We already did that one! We did that after weather control and truth serums.

Conservatives are the biggest snowflakes, afraid of everything. They are like those little yappy dogs that bark at everything