Damn man, I feel for you. I just turned 38, and I know the custody struggles. My brother got involved with this girl 8 years younger than him about ten years ago and they dated on and off, always had issues. They willingly had a kid, and then once she was born all hell broke loose and the mother “became” crazy (she was always crazy but hid it well, idk exactly what her issues are, but she’s an only child and she lives with her mom in their trailer even though she’s like 32 and dropped out of high school apparently because people made fun of her voice a lot, it’s kinda high pitched and nasally). She became extremely possessive of her daughter, saying things like “this is my baby!” to my brother, not letting him do things with her while she wasn’t around , and a whole bunch of other shit. My brother isn’t an alcoholic but he does like to drink, he’s had 2 DUIs in the past, and she used that against him constantly. My brother said something he didn’t mean which she considered a threat against life (he was frustrated and said “I’m wanna fucking kill you right now” or something like that, that’s the way he expresses his frustration and has to her in the past I guess). The cops came, found his little bit of weed, 5 registered guns… and an antique pistol that wasn’t registered, which is a felony. He spent 3 days in jail for that shit. After that it was “mother’s rights” so she got to keep the kid in her trailer, instead of my brother’s 1 story house. He had to have surprised visitation for like 2 years, along with probation for like a year. During all of this she even concocted false stories about him and about my mother (the sweetest, most caring person in the world that was a respected special education teacher for 35 years). Long story slightly shorter: they went to court, my mom and brother won, which meant shared custody and he could take her wherever he wanted to without the mother’s permission.

I’m sorry to hear that your daughter lost her mom, but depending on how young she is, and I hate to say this, but it may have been for the better if she had BPD (I’m assuming you mean Borderline, and no BiPolar), because that’s some shit to deal with. My ex had BPD tendencies (fit most of them, except for being promiscuous) and she was friends with my nieces mom, which we always thought was odd since they lived about 2 hours apart, but they were around the same age and talked on Facebook a lot. My ex never hid it, it came out right after we started dating. Luckily I never knocked her up! If I’m reading this correctly you have full custody of her which is awesome, and it’s always great to have another parental figure around.

I end up writing books as well, I get too deep into something, and when I’m done, I’ll look up and be like “I just wrote 5 paragraphs they’re never gonna read this” but most of the time they actually do!

It sounds like you’ve had a hell of a life up until now, but things are finally starting too look up for you, keep your chin up, you got this 😉

I moved down to Miami 2 weeks ago, so things are going pretty good for me at the moment, I just gotta find a job, and tackle this life long insomnia. I just took 20 mg of Ambien and I’m still awake WTF… Usually 15 mg knocks me out whether I want it to or not.

Stay safe buddy, here’s to good things for us 🍻