Alone and afraid. No friends. No family. No hope. Just existing and barely even doing that. Waking up everyday and wondering why I’m even bothering to do it. Looking for any excuse to distract myself from reality. Probably post random stuff online and look for more stuff to post. Try and entertain people so I don’t feel as worthless to society as I kind of am. Hating myself, every single shred of who I am, but not having any drive to change it. Wanting to die but being too cowardly to do anything to make it happen. Just waiting for things to finally stop and be over and to have a shred of peace. To not hear that inner voice saying how I don’t belong. To not hope for some horrific accident that not just kills me but makes me known to someone rather than forgotten.
Pretty sure about that. Mainly because it’s where I am now.
Now time for me to sleep, wake up, try not to cry, and then post memes all over again.
My dude, please get some professional help. I am religious, so if you ask me, I would point there, but seriously, you are worth it and you are at least worth the memes you post. I bet that you could grow a bunch from a place of stability, and have a pretty rad life to look forward to
Here is some other advice:
ask chat-gpt for some exercises to help you get your brain where it should be and a timeline. Then execute. Rinse repeat
reduce social media (including Lemmy) a good “cold turkey” break would be a cruise or something.
obtain physically proximate friends via volunteering at a local food bank or similar nonprofit.
I’m on a waitlist for professional help. That’s not as easy to access as I’d like it to be, at least not here in the GTA. Religion I will be staying pretty clear from because honestly people using religion to hate me is one of the reasons I’m in this position in the first place. I’ve got no issue with religious folks, and plenty of religious friends, but I avoid the religion itself. Just not good memories in anyway as a gay dude with a sprinkling of autism who happens to be from a rural area.
As for the other advice:
I don’t trust ChatGPT at all. There have been other instances of people using chatbots to try and help with mental health and it has recommended some terrifying options. One support line decided to replace their phone answering employees with a chatbot. That bot started recommending dieting to people with eating disorders. That’s just the first example that comes off my mind.
If I could take a cruise, I would without a single hesitation. However I just had a vet bill for a cat that ended up being perfectly fine. That wiped out all of my savings and is going to mess up my budget for a couple months. Not to mention the fact that the amount of money I had saved took months and was a pitiful amount. I legitimately wouldn’t have been able to go up the CN Tower and have a dinner at the restaurant, nevermind get a cruise. Social media is also my only connection to society in general. Social media isn’t super healthy which is why I already limit myself pretty well. The only social media I’m active on is Lemmy and, to a lesser extent, Mastodon. In both I stick mostly in meme/funny communities and keep everything light. That or just focus on Star Trek. I only really drop into news communities once every day or two just to see what’s going on there, I don’t engage much.
I don’t really want to go into it but I have a hard time trusting people physically.
Honestly it’s fine. Been like this for years. I’ve tried a bunch of different things, talked to different people, tried different environments and it’s none of those. It’s me. I’ve just sort of accepted that I’m not going to be happy. That’s fine. Not everyone gets to be.
Well, it seems like you have a good BS detector. I would still go to chatgpt and ask for “what types of psychologist approaches are there to sadness”. It will then respond with " behavioral, cognitive, etc") then I would ask what would a therapist for each approach say to a person who “is sad, and other characteristics and circumstances of yours”. Then pick the ones that you haven’t tried or you only did halvsies the first time you tried it.
Oh Stamets, your post made me so sad and then I saw your username and realised who you were and I just had to comment because you are literally my most favourite person on Lemmy.
The content you post on Risa is the sole reason I’m here. I love your trek memes and the awesome community they are generating over there. Please know you are making an impact.
I mainly lurk, but I feel like I know you just from reading your interactions and you are an amazing person. Please keep being you.
I appreciate it 💙 It is indeed why I do what I do. Might as well inject some happiness into the world somehow.
Also, join into the comments more over on Risa! We’re all pretty chill and if anyone gives you shit just summon me, Picard, Xusontha, NegativeNelly, WarmSoda, USSBurritoTruck or any of the other epicly awesome people who are over there.
Would never be this dark or honest normally but
Alone and afraid. No friends. No family. No hope. Just existing and barely even doing that. Waking up everyday and wondering why I’m even bothering to do it. Looking for any excuse to distract myself from reality. Probably post random stuff online and look for more stuff to post. Try and entertain people so I don’t feel as worthless to society as I kind of am. Hating myself, every single shred of who I am, but not having any drive to change it. Wanting to die but being too cowardly to do anything to make it happen. Just waiting for things to finally stop and be over and to have a shred of peace. To not hear that inner voice saying how I don’t belong. To not hope for some horrific accident that not just kills me but makes me known to someone rather than forgotten.
Pretty sure about that. Mainly because it’s where I am now.
Now time for me to sleep, wake up, try not to cry, and then post memes all over again.
My dude, please get some professional help. I am religious, so if you ask me, I would point there, but seriously, you are worth it and you are at least worth the memes you post. I bet that you could grow a bunch from a place of stability, and have a pretty rad life to look forward to
Here is some other advice:
ask chat-gpt for some exercises to help you get your brain where it should be and a timeline. Then execute. Rinse repeat
reduce social media (including Lemmy) a good “cold turkey” break would be a cruise or something.
obtain physically proximate friends via volunteering at a local food bank or similar nonprofit.
I’m on a waitlist for professional help. That’s not as easy to access as I’d like it to be, at least not here in the GTA. Religion I will be staying pretty clear from because honestly people using religion to hate me is one of the reasons I’m in this position in the first place. I’ve got no issue with religious folks, and plenty of religious friends, but I avoid the religion itself. Just not good memories in anyway as a gay dude with a sprinkling of autism who happens to be from a rural area.
As for the other advice:
I don’t trust ChatGPT at all. There have been other instances of people using chatbots to try and help with mental health and it has recommended some terrifying options. One support line decided to replace their phone answering employees with a chatbot. That bot started recommending dieting to people with eating disorders. That’s just the first example that comes off my mind.
If I could take a cruise, I would without a single hesitation. However I just had a vet bill for a cat that ended up being perfectly fine. That wiped out all of my savings and is going to mess up my budget for a couple months. Not to mention the fact that the amount of money I had saved took months and was a pitiful amount. I legitimately wouldn’t have been able to go up the CN Tower and have a dinner at the restaurant, nevermind get a cruise. Social media is also my only connection to society in general. Social media isn’t super healthy which is why I already limit myself pretty well. The only social media I’m active on is Lemmy and, to a lesser extent, Mastodon. In both I stick mostly in meme/funny communities and keep everything light. That or just focus on Star Trek. I only really drop into news communities once every day or two just to see what’s going on there, I don’t engage much.
I don’t really want to go into it but I have a hard time trusting people physically.
Honestly it’s fine. Been like this for years. I’ve tried a bunch of different things, talked to different people, tried different environments and it’s none of those. It’s me. I’ve just sort of accepted that I’m not going to be happy. That’s fine. Not everyone gets to be.
Well, it seems like you have a good BS detector. I would still go to chatgpt and ask for “what types of psychologist approaches are there to sadness”. It will then respond with " behavioral, cognitive, etc") then I would ask what would a therapist for each approach say to a person who “is sad, and other characteristics and circumstances of yours”. Then pick the ones that you haven’t tried or you only did halvsies the first time you tried it.
Good luck!
Oh Stamets, your post made me so sad and then I saw your username and realised who you were and I just had to comment because you are literally my most favourite person on Lemmy.
The content you post on Risa is the sole reason I’m here. I love your trek memes and the awesome community they are generating over there. Please know you are making an impact.
I mainly lurk, but I feel like I know you just from reading your interactions and you are an amazing person. Please keep being you.
I appreciate it 💙 It is indeed why I do what I do. Might as well inject some happiness into the world somehow.
Also, join into the comments more over on Risa! We’re all pretty chill and if anyone gives you shit just summon me, Picard, Xusontha, NegativeNelly, WarmSoda, USSBurritoTruck or any of the other epicly awesome people who are over there.
Thanks again. I will try to be more active on Risa, so will hopefully see you around! :)