Being able to just simply move on from something as easily.
I have ADHD. Anyone telling you it is a super power is either lying or has a drastically different experience with it than I do.
Its a super power in battle/reaction situations. In all aplicable areas of modern age, its a nightmare.
Nope. Absolutely not. That is your experience with it. Not mine. It’s a disability. Please don’t describe my experience with a disability as a super power.
I say because I have ADHD too. My reaction are more thoughtful and cold in stress situations like theft assaults or accidents are way better that neurotypical ones (I’m from latinamerica so they are very common). But I have so much problems to do normal things daily and they are ruining my life.
Is that directly related to ADHD or just an independent character trait?
I have ADHD too and in those few high stress / life or death situations I’ve been in, I suddenly felt super calm and focused while some other people were just screaming. I read somewhere that people with ADHD are overrepresented in first responders and similar jobs and I can believe that.
That being said, I very much agree with JackByDev. Yeah, ADHD is a disability. It has caused much pain and suffering for me and I wish I could get rid of it.
Thanks for the insight, that’s pretty interesting. But yes, it does not sound like it would be worth the trade-offs, if one got the chance to choose
I don’t think it is. There are plenty of neurotypical people who have those qualities and plenty of people with ADHD who don’t. My wife has ADHD and wouldn’t fit that definition.
Not a superpower. Thinking all moments of every single day, although exhausting, does make one significantly more experienced with thinking and how their mind works than those who can choose not to think most of the time though if untempered these thoughts are typically nonsense. It’s an advantage in many situations to be able to think at light speed while everyone else is panicking, but the burnout that comes from not being able to ever turn it off is pretty nasty. It’s different with different advantages and disadvantages. I personally wouldn’t change my mind to be different, but I wouldn’t recommend a mind like mine to someone who wouldn’t be able to handle it since I’m barely able to handle it myself with decades of experience.
That’s good for you, but don’t act like that’s the typical ADHD experience. There is literally no benefit to this for me. It’s a disability. There are so so so many neurotypical people who also meet the description of the advantages you’re talking about. It’s nothing unique to ADHD. And, that’s great for you, I’m glad you’re able to find what you believe to be a silver lining, but don’t say it’s some sort of universal advantage of ADHD. My wife has ADHD and definitely doesn’t have that aspect.
One thing I’ve learned about ADHD is that since we can’t control our thinking, we are each so divergent from the typical experience that we have little in common even with one another aside from common symptoms and the obvious reaction to those symptoms. My experience is not at all to invalidate anyone else’s experience. That being said, it’s very likely that the reason you are with your wife is at least partly due to how she is, and how she is is heavily influenced by her adhd. There are likely things you love about your wife that are directly influenced by her adhd or her life experience living with adhd.
If my wife and/or I were to magically lose our ADHD I firmly believe we’d stay in love. We’ve been together for 16 years and married for 10. I’ve been with them for over half of my life. We’ve both drastically changed from the people we were to the people we are now. Neither of us would likely fall for the other if we were meeting our past selves (assuming age isn’t a factor, obviously lol).
Sleep instantly and without interruption
What up insomnia gang? Coming to you love from the bed at 6 AM. Too late to fall back asleep, too early to get up.
Maintain eye contact.
Shit makes me so uncomfortable. Look at me all you want, that’s fine. I’m going to look at that plant.
If you want to look at that plant, I’ll look at you, but you can’t have both.
Unless we both look at the plant. That’s fine too.
Out of curiosity, how does it feel for you to look at someone’s nose while they are looking in your eyes?
I wish I could actually listen to what is being said to me for more than 5 minutes. Instead of having my attention drift off and me starting to daydream about something the other said.
To be consistent on a physical level.
I play guitar and games like rocket league, things that require excellent physical dexterity, and consistency is a big factor. I struggle to repeat physical actions the same way every time. I practice lots, and I’m reasonably good at both things (imho), but I know I screw up more than most people because I can’t repeat things the same way every time.
That’s absolutely normal, especially as people tend to compare their general performance with their peak performance („I managed to play that without errors once, why am I not managing it every time?“).
You can do a number of things to improve your mental consistency within the limits of your current abilities by forming healthy habits around it, if it is very important. E.g. a balanced lifestyle of sorts and a good warmup routine when playing your instrument, but even then you will have off days.
If you want to nail that section consistently, you will have to increase your skill ceiling quite a bit, way beyond „nailing it once“. Usually you don’t notice that progress as much with instruments, because ideally the things you are working on are always challenging you at your current level, but try going back to something you played one or two years ago. You may have to refresh the piece until it sounds good again, but then you will probably be way more consistent about your performance than the first time around.
Rocket league is a completely different skill set, but the concepts apply in the same way. Structuring your life around being in ideal mental and physical condition to perform in a video game is probably a lot less useful for your life, but I’d bet every professional player does it.
I wish I could have a baseline functional understanding of human interaction & relationships.
As someone who transitioned from a deeply introverted anxious young adult with a persistent stammer, to a relatively outgoing person who is capable of clear communication, the secret is caring less and forgetting that you exist.
There are steps though to get there:
- Look at a person. De-age them back to when they were a shy or excited or inquisite toddler. That’s their base model. Anything built on that is just extra wisdom or fluff or bluster.
- Talk to people like you would an innocent child, just use more grownup words.
- Cheat questions:
- “How was your day today” “what did you get up to” “hows your upcoming week looking”
- Cheat responses:
- “nice!” “well done!” “oh damn”
- Cheat moves:
- Eye contact. Look at people in the eye, then look away when describing something, then look them in the eye again.
- Nodding: Make nodding gestures as they respond to you
- Hands: Gesture with your hands when you describe something.
- Smile: You don’t need to smile, but it helps. You can look away when you do it.
- Listening helps but is top-tier and isn’t a requirement
- Learn to build connections through topics though. If they’re talking about cats, remember your dog.
- Signal it’s your turn: I suck at this and wait for gaps, which usually means I forget what I wanted to say, but you can signal in other ways
- Yes: Finger gun and a nod whilst inhaling
- No: Polite laugh and a head shake whilst exhaling
- Random: if someone won’t stop, they need to be stopped. Just jump in with your crab story, who cares.
This should hopefully get you along the way to forgetting that you exist in a conversation, and it should become second nature after a while.
i want to be able to make easy fun conversation
I wish it didn’t take me so long to understand things that other people seem to get easily.
I wish I could bang ass for longer than a minute :/
Try concentrating on your breathing.
The ability to utilize my passion and drive to do things.
Just absorbing knowledge is starting to be a drag.
Ability to feel slightly deeper while watching emotional films
People who are very good at instruments. I wish I just knew guitar to be able to shred on demand, but I just could not put in the time and effort to get there myself.
Not being anxious about almost everything.
I wish I could just live in the present without having to completely fake a personality to hide the fact I don’t have one.
I thought I had one but I read everyone else’s first and after each one thought, yeah that would be good. Thank you for making me fully grasp just how inadequate I am. Just sign me up for any of these.
